Otters events: December, January and February

What would Christmas be without Otter mayhem? That's right. Quite civilised. But who wants a civilised Christmas? Not us. We want to get off the hook.


Saturday 12 December - PAINTBALL

Right, first up in the calendar of pre- and post-Winterval fun we have the Chris Greenwood Memorial Paintball Battle atAtomic Paintball Horsley Paintball Cobham Horsley Road, Effingham, Surrey, KT11 3JY. Contact Ulrich von Lichtenstein von Lederhosen von Kleinsteuber for the full skinny. I think it's about £8, but since Uli left me off the email, I don't actually know. The meet is 1130 am at Chris's house.


Sunday 13 December - OTTERS CHRISTMAS AGM!!! (men's section)

It's the biggie - the third anniversary of when it all began. In a break with tradition, however, note that it is two Sundays before Christmas, NOT the Sunday before Christmas because I've promised not to clash with Jim and Di's leaving do.

All Otters required to meet at 42 Grove Road for a mulled something-or-other at 6pm sharp. The format is as per usual - warm-up beers at the Coach and Swan then the pub quiz at the Crown, followed by cocktails, nakedness and a one-armed press-up competition. Death or glory. Grrrrr.

(The ladies will presumably be indulging in spritzers and topless pillow fights at an alternative venue...)


January - Table Football World Cup

Still agreeing a date, but the venue is Chertsey Cricket Club and the format as follows: doubles, £5 entry, come themed as the nation of your choice. January is a piss-awful, brassic, cold, wet, miserable month, so why not brighten things up with an impromptu world class sporting event hosted in the cheapest place to drink in Chertsey? Why not indeed.


February - The Otters' Ergo Challenge

Date and venue TBC, but here's the format: 2000m timed sprint with best time winning, then beers somewhere afterwards. Depending on numbers, we may split the categories into light, welter and heavyweight with a row off for the grand champion. There will be a men's and a women's competition, so don't feel excluded. There will also be the grand prix spectacle of Al 'Big Gay Al' Davis versus Phil 'Phil the Pilot' Bachelor over 5000m, with the winner taking bragging rights for time immemorial.

(Pictured: A genuine Japanese seasonal greeting card. Not quite sure they've grasped the concept...)