Otters AGM

If anyone can remember any of the resolutions, decisions or elected positions that were decided on at last night' AGM - indeed can remember anything about it - please comment below. Many thanks.

Latest from Otter Zen

Crikey.

Zen 14: Eleven beautiful, full-breasted maidens - it's Christmas in France!
Zen 12: "We must march, my darlings, we must bear the danger..."
Zen 11: Man calls cops on band that's 'not jazzy enough'
Zen 10: How people scam you - the six principles
Zen 9: Scoutmaster gets fingered

Latest from Otter Zen

Waste time. Go on.

• Zen 8: Incredible escapes from death
  
• Zen 6: The dangers of dirty women: cracking wartime propaganda posters
• Zen 5: The Devil's Mountains: Germany's trümmerberg thing
• Zen 3: Low pass - my favourite You Tube clip ever
• Zen 1: Geriatric Korean auto menace

Otterequality: Christmas is for the laydeez too

Just to clarify - in the face of much feminist agitating, including bra-burning, dungaree-wearing and listening to kd lang - there are TWO Otters events on Sunday 13 December. In no particular order they are:

1. The Men's AGM, starting 1800 on Grove Road and proceeding via Coach and Swan to Crown for pub quiz, where we will dazzle allcomers with a devastating display of intellect and power-drinking.

2. The Laydeez' AGM, also starting at 1800 on Grove Road. Contact Kayte for full details. If the laydeez feel brave enough to take the chaps on at brain stuff, then you know where to be and what time to be there.

Go the Otters (in a totally non-gender specific way of course). Solidarity sister.

Otter Zen: Coming in your ears

Quick one. Have just launched a sister blog to this one called Otter Zen. It's for all those things that y'all might be interested in, but isn't related to Otter events. It's a repository for random crap essentially, but hopefully enjoyable random crap.

Link: The Otter Zen blog

If you'd like to post something to the Otter Zen blog, you can either do it in the comments section or drop me a line via email and I'll chuck it up there. Same goes for this blog and any Otter-friendly events you'd like to promote/invite people to.

I've also added a blog roll to this one (bottom of right hand margin). A blog roll, for the uninitiated, is where you add links to your favourite blogs, so if you have one, or would like to recommend one, let me know and I'll add it. Candice.

AGM special rule - bring your Otter 'handle'

Email just sent (below) has me thinking:

Hi all - Due to popular request, I've changed the settings on the Otter blog so anyone can comment without all the faff of registering and logging in. If you're not logged in, you're anonymous, so you might want to adopt a 'handle' as per Smokey and the Bandit circa 1977. "Breaker breaker Mother Love, if you got y'all ears on Smokey's knockin at yer back door. You gotta put that hammer down, good buddy. It's the beer bust or a bear cage, come on."

I was only kidding then, but now I'm serious. The 'special rule' for this AGM (Sunday 13 Dec, 1800 kick off) is that all Otters must adopt a Smokey and the Bandit-style, shit-kickin', sum-bitchin' CB radio handle. Handles must be used from the first pub onwards. Fines for violations.

And just to remind you what an outstanding and seminal movie Smokey and the Bandit was, here's the original theatrical trailer, live and direct from You Tube (including history's dodgiest strapline: "It's not where you're going that counts, but who's in back of you.")

Link: CB Gazette's guide to CB radio slang
Link: Wikipedia guide to CB slang

Surprise Kitty for Otters

For no particular reason. Seventeen seconds of hypercute, cominatchya.



(Apparently Al Davis will do this if plied with enough Bombardier.)

Otters events: December, January and February

What would Christmas be without Otter mayhem? That's right. Quite civilised. But who wants a civilised Christmas? Not us. We want to get off the hook.


Saturday 12 December - PAINTBALL

Right, first up in the calendar of pre- and post-Winterval fun we have the Chris Greenwood Memorial Paintball Battle atAtomic Paintball Horsley Paintball Cobham Horsley Road, Effingham, Surrey, KT11 3JY. Contact Ulrich von Lichtenstein von Lederhosen von Kleinsteuber for the full skinny. I think it's about £8, but since Uli left me off the email, I don't actually know. The meet is 1130 am at Chris's house.


Sunday 13 December - OTTERS CHRISTMAS AGM!!! (men's section)

It's the biggie - the third anniversary of when it all began. In a break with tradition, however, note that it is two Sundays before Christmas, NOT the Sunday before Christmas because I've promised not to clash with Jim and Di's leaving do.

All Otters required to meet at 42 Grove Road for a mulled something-or-other at 6pm sharp. The format is as per usual - warm-up beers at the Coach and Swan then the pub quiz at the Crown, followed by cocktails, nakedness and a one-armed press-up competition. Death or glory. Grrrrr.

(The ladies will presumably be indulging in spritzers and topless pillow fights at an alternative venue...)


January - Table Football World Cup

Still agreeing a date, but the venue is Chertsey Cricket Club and the format as follows: doubles, £5 entry, come themed as the nation of your choice. January is a piss-awful, brassic, cold, wet, miserable month, so why not brighten things up with an impromptu world class sporting event hosted in the cheapest place to drink in Chertsey? Why not indeed.


February - The Otters' Ergo Challenge

Date and venue TBC, but here's the format: 2000m timed sprint with best time winning, then beers somewhere afterwards. Depending on numbers, we may split the categories into light, welter and heavyweight with a row off for the grand champion. There will be a men's and a women's competition, so don't feel excluded. There will also be the grand prix spectacle of Al 'Big Gay Al' Davis versus Phil 'Phil the Pilot' Bachelor over 5000m, with the winner taking bragging rights for time immemorial.

(Pictured: A genuine Japanese seasonal greeting card. Not quite sure they've grasped the concept...)

Otterly amazing: The Big Personality Test

Apologies for things being a bit quiet recently, but I've been hobnobbing with B-listers and making the world a better place by launching stuff like this:

The Big Personality Test: bbc.co.uk/childofourtime

Would be great if you all could do it and post your results in the comments. For the record, I'm highly conscientious and not remotely neurotic, with a side-order of extroversion and openness, easy on the agreeableness. Would be lovely to build up a personality profile of the average Otter!