Otters successfully defend Marlow in heroic final push - photo finish hands it to the Chertsey crew

The Chertsey Otters successfully defended their dragon boating title at the Oakley Court Regatta on Sunday by an improbable eight one-hundredths of a second from the Flying Dragons, in a final that was tighter than a very very fat man in a lady's wetsuit who is stuck in a plastic garden chair in the back of a Mini (and not a Clubman either) that's gridlocked on the M25 during a heatwave. The Great Danes, runners-up in 2008, came third.

The Even More Beautiful Otters, crewed mainly by first or second time dragon boaters, lost out on a semi-final place by less than a second, despite having a very natty uniform and a large contingent of Dutch people who are presumably well accustomed to being that close to the water and should therefore know exactly what to do about it. Nonetheless, it was a magnificent effort.



The Otters set a blistering pace in the heats, recording the fastest time of the day in race three and apparently provoking grumbles about 'semi-professionals spoiling the event for everyone else'. Semi-professional what, we never found out. And in any case, who needs a boatload of ringers when you have a crew of steely-eyed, misbegotten feckers the like of which we put on the water that day?

Not us. Staying true to the Otters' motto of 'just turn up and win', we took the semi-final by just over a dragon's nose-length, despite being rammed by one of the other crews, and fought off a spirited charge by our rivals in the final to take the tape by slightly less than the extra coat of varnish at the tip of the aforementioned megareptilian's appendage. Hurrah.

Well done to all who participated and many thanks to the cohort of Otters supporters (especially the minis!) who turned out to lend their very vocal support on the day. And last but not least, thanks also to Kayte who organised a hugely enjoyable day, thrashed that drum to within an inch of its life and made a very, very rash but very, very excellent promise in the huddle before the final race.

Same time next year? Three's the charm!

Link: Kate Smyth's Facebook Gallery
Link: Dragons Alive! website

GO THE OTTERS!!!

Chertsey Otters Crew: Kayte 'I'll Do Anything, For You Dear Anything' Cable, Max 'Bear Fighter' Woodward, Debbie 'Pocket Rocket' Hall, Mark 'Human Volcano' Hall, Karen 'Touche' Smith, Mark 'Silent Assassin' Smith, Al 'Big Gay' Davis, Richard 'Ballast' Cable, Sean 'Thrust and' Parry, Steve 'Big Gay Hairy Bear' Kearns, Rachel 'Dee 57 in tha Big Broother House' Geordielass, Ulrich 'Island Monkey' Kleinsteuber, Chris 'Full Monty' Greenwood.

EMB Otters Crew: Nicole 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' Ter Horst, Emma 'Tub Thumper' Willingale, Frans Sinterklaas, Nan Sinterklaas, Marco 'Isotonic Heineken' De Haan, Jane 'I can bench more than my brother' Cable, Philip 'She can bench me' Wardle, Richard, Stefan, Sian, Rachel, Toby, Clare, David and Tracy (sorry - ran out of steam on the monickers!).