Dragon Boats - Oakley Court, Windsor, 6 Sept. I love the smell of Otter in the morning...

Autumn nears and the scent of harvest is in the air. Mellow fruitfulness hangs heavy over the land as summer enjoys its last hurrahs. But before we all pack up the lawn chairs and baton down the hatches for the grim onslaught of winter, there's glory to be had, and it's Otter-shaped.

So stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood and man the dragon boats once more. This time it's personal. In the face of gratuitous taunting, generally bad hangovers and questionable levels of aerobic fitness, the Otters triumphed here in 2008, and there'll be blood (or at least beer) in the Thames before we surrender that title again. Prepare, gentle burghers of Berkshire, to have your idyllic Sunday rudely violated by that most time-honoured war cry: 'Go the Otters!' Just turn up and win.

Saturday 6 September. Race briefings from 0800. First race at 0930. Two berths still available. Email Richard or Kayte to grab them. Unspeakably overexcited already? You don't know the half of it.

Cry havoc and let lose the Otters of war. Oakley Court shall not fall again!

Chertsey Ploughing Match, Monday 31 August - support Patrick the Otter

Patrick Martin (see photo) will be entering his own hand-built tractor in the Chertsey Ploughing Match this Bank Holiday Monday at Wey Manor Farm, Wey Manor Road, New Haw, Addlestone (KT15 3JR).

In a brilliantly lunatic undertaking of his own devising, Patrick scoured the country for hopelessly knackered and decrepit vintage tractors, which he then converted into a single functioning model by a time-honoured method of black magic, swearing and spanners. Miraculously, Patrick is still happily married and holding down 15 different jobs.




Now you may be thinking that watching a bunch of blokes, well, ploughing, using everything from heavy horses to modern behemoths, is not your ideal way of spending a bank holiday, or even a bit of one. But consider this:

a) Patrick is a Chertsey Otter and all Chertsey Otters should enjoy large quantities of vocal support in any competitive endeavour they undertake, especially one that's involved as much hard work as this one has to pull together.
b) Patrick has already blown up one tractor and might well do it again.
c) There will be a beer tent.


To sample the bucolic bliss of a day out watching men in smocks carving perfect furrows in the fecund earth, check out the video below:

STOP PRESS: Otters sweep Chertsey Show!!!

OK, so 'sweep' might be overstating it a touch, but the Otters made a pretty impressive impact in their first year of Chertsey Show activity. The awards we know about so far are listed below, but please please let me know if I've missed you out. Irrespective of the medals and glory your entries may have achieved, huge thanks to everyone who took the time and made the effort. It's the taking part that counts, after all.

Otter placings

1st place - Portrait drawing, any medium - Candice Mallins
1st place - Victoria sandwich - Lucy Martin
1st place and Judge's Choice - Anything to do with the countryside (oil) - Richard Cable
1st place - School display of any plants - Lyne and Longcross School/Kayte Cable
1st place - Photographic portfolio of your school garden - Lyne and Longcross School/Kayte Cable
1st place - 2 Cornish pasties - Ann Kleinsteuber
1st place - Carnivorous plant - Jaego Cable
1st place - Scarecrow made of recycling - The Kleinsteubers
1st place - 3 cheese straws - Molly Hazledine
1st place - A drawing of anything in the garden - Genevive Hazledine
1st place - Best tidbit catcher - Boz Cable
1st place - Food from around the world - Kayte Cable

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2nd place - Draw a picture of yourself - Jaego Cable
2nd place - Photo portrait: black and white - Brian Cable
2nd place - Fastest dog over the jumps (1st in heat) - Bruce Coope

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3rd place - Take a photograph of your friend - Tom Martin
3rd place - Butterflies, bugs and bees: close-up photo - Brian Cable
3rd place - Bottle of homebrew beer - Steve Dobson
3rd place - Most handsome dog - Bruce Coope
3rd place - Young gardener - Jaego and Jessame Cable

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4th place - Vegetable monster - Jaego Cable
Special commendation - Vegetable monster - Maia and Neha Zadef, Jessame Cable and Kalsang Tsering
Highly commended - Draw a picture of yourself - Jessame Cable

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We also had entries in homemade wine, soft fruit jam, cottage loaf, 3 fruit scones, photography, heaviest marrow, chutney, cake decorating, liqueur and a bunch of others.

Fantastic.

GO THE OTTERS!!!

URGENT!!! Entry forms for Chertsey Show must be in NOW!

Quick one. V excited about the level of excellence and/or enthusiasm already exhibited by the Otters in the cause of sweeping the Chertsey Show. Full schedule, entry details and all that jazz in the show schedule, available if you follow the VIEW SCHEDULE link from the Chertsey Show website.

Here's a reminder that if you've drawn a FLORAL class (as I did) your entry form has to be in by Tuesday 4 August.

If you've drawn any other class (Domestic, Craft, Horticultural etc) then your entry form has to be in by Thursday 6 August.

As far as I'm aware, only the entry form needs to be in. The thing itself can be presented either on Friday afternoon or first thing on the Day of Judgement (which is Sat 8 August in most cases - please check the schedule for precise details.)

Dogs can be entered in Companion Dog classes on the day. If you're going to be a ponce and enter your dog in the official dog show, you're not an Otter.

If you're not going to be around for the weekend itself, as long as you've sorted out the entry form, I'll be happy to make sure your stuff gets in front of the judges at the appointed hour.

Go the Otters!